


sunshine fox

by englishsummerrain



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Time, Long-Distance Relationship, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Summer, beaches! tropics! snorkeling and ice cream!, set in the florida keys this time, yes it's another summer fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:00:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/englishsummerrain/pseuds/englishsummerrain
Summary: Renjun meets Donghyuck when he's fifteen, but hemeetsDonghyuck when he's nineteen.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 43
Kudos: 271





	sunshine fox

**Author's Note:**

> belated haechie bday fic hehe <3 
> 
> thanks vivi for telling me this wasn't pure garbage and for picking the concept in the first place and just letting me bitch about this. thank you to nee for betaing <3 you're so awesome!! i love you both so much.

Renjun's not sure how this might have happened in his head. He'd planned a hundred things — a hundred romantic scenarios. Flower petals and low burning candles and a full orchestra like they were in a movie. Doves flying, maybe someone giving one of those cakes that said 'congrats on the sex'. It’s something he’s daydreamed about — in the long summer days when school hadn’t quite finished, dozing off in his college library, staring at Donghyuck’s face through his laptop screen when he tells him he misses him so much. He imagines it to be romantic and sweet, like the songs had made it out to be.

Instead it happens like this.

Donghyuck has been in Key West for four hours. He’d arrived somewhere around five, grounded by multiple delays catching his connecting flight from Atlanta, bone tired but still overflowing with warmth for Renjun. He'd walked through the arrivals door, freshly dyed firetruck red hair sticking out from under his bucket hat, jacket slung over his arm, and locked eyes with Renjun and just _smiled_. Renjun had felt something wash over him — something inexplicable — and in that moment he'd known everything would be okay.

On the ride back to his house he’d linked hands with him and stared out the window, watching the endless expanse of the Atlantic Ocean rolling out to touch the blue sky.

“I always thought that it was photoshopped,” Donghyuck says. “But it’s really that colour?”

Renjun laughs. “Yeah. It’s real.”

It’s repeated throughout the short drive to Renjun’s house. Awe at the palm trees. At the houses. At all the people in their flip-flops and short skirts, at the tourists sitting on the roadside and the locals on bikes. Donghyuck keeps getting giddy and looking over at him, as if to ask ‘holy shit, is this really happening?’

It’s a general theme of everything. They’ve known each other for four years — a random friend request on League of Legends becoming the genesis for their entire friendship. One game together had become one night together, and then one whole summer. Renjun had looked forward to logging on every day — to seeing Donghyuck's cat picture pop up on Skype when he messaged him and hearing his voice. His wicked laugh when he made jokes, the soft meows when he held Whiskers (“That’s a dumb name for a cat” “Shut up”) up to the microphone and cooed at her to purr.

Being an entire country apart hadn’t stopped them from becoming best friends — or more.

And now they’re here with each other. Now Renjun can hold Donghyuck’s hand — he can kiss him. He can wrap his arms around him (god, he’s _bigger_ than Renjun. That had been unexpected). He doesn’t have to wish he could pinch Donghyuck’s cheek when he’s being cute — he doesn’t have to mime punching to hit him when he’s cackling with laughter. He can touch him and taste him and just exist with him. Everything feels so fucking right all of a sudden.

They eat dinner — Renjun’s mom cooks burgers and Donghyuck says they’re the best thing he’s ever tasted. They go up to Renjun’s bed and argue over what movie to watch — the argument turns into kisses. It turns into Donghyuck in Renjun’s lap and Renjun is still in disbelief — like he thinks if he closes his eyes he might wake up from this dream.

The boy he's been talking to for four years is _real_ and he's so much more beautiful than he could have ever imagined. The way he moves, the way he speaks, the sheer shine in his eyes as he pulls back and grins at Renjun. Neither of them know how to kiss and their noses keep bumping and Renjun asks Donghyuck to bite his lip and Donghyuck bites too hard and almost draws blood and the way his tongue feels in his mouth is weird but it’s so fucking good, it’s so sweet. It’s perfect in only the way Donghyuck could make it.

The movie is forgotten, and Renjun knows what they’re both thinking. He doesn’t know how far things will go — but he knows what they’re both thinking. They’ve talked about it before — down whispering FaceTime calls, when Renjun’s lying in bed with his hand around his cock, thinking about the way Donghyuck hips might feel against his.

There’s an expectation from both of them — unspoken, but understood — that at the end of this trip neither of them will be virgins anymore.

It’s not tonight. Tonight is Donghyuck pushing Renjun onto his back. Pushing him down into the sheets of his childhood bed and pressing kisses all over his stomach.

"Have you done this before?" Renjun asks. Donghyuck smiles at him.

"I've watched a lot of videos. Just tell me if it's bad, okay?"

"It won't be," Renjun says. Donghyuck presses a kiss just above his belly button.

"Tell me that after."

"Hey," Renjun says, reaching out to cover his hand with his own as he starts to unbutton his jeans. God, he still can’t believe the difference in size between them. Donghyuck is only a few inches taller but he’s so much broader in every sense, his fingers thick, palm wide. "I mean it,” Renjun says. “I love you."

Donghyuck gives him a smile then. Something tender. Something soft. Something that sparkles like the fizz of a champagne bottle popping. "I love you too, fox."

Renjun reaches up to card his fingers through Donghyuck's hair. "Sunshine," he says.

Their stupid display names — the only names they’d known each other by for years. Renjun had taken to saying ‘Hyuck’ easily, but Donghyuck had never broken the habit of calling him fox. His little fox.

"See if you still wanna call me sunshine afterwards," Donghyuck says.

There's a party on the street outside. He can hear voices — people yelling at each other. Loud music playing from someone’s speakers, a car rushing past. They’re not close enough to the ocean to hear the waves, but even so it’s a Friday night and the city is coming alive around them. So many people, and yet it pales in comparison to everything that's happening in the room. The soft sound of their breath, the heavy thud of Renjun's heart in his chest. The rustle of his clothes as Donghyuck undoes his jeans. Anxiety pricks all over his skin and he swallows it, trying to focus on Donghyuck instead.

God. He hasn't even touched him. His fingers feel out the shape of him through the cloth of his underwear, but he hasn't even _touched_ him yet and Renjun feels like he's about to come.

"Hyuck," Renjun says. His name feels heavy in his mouth. Holy shit, Donghyuck's here with him. It’s not ‘Hyuck’ through his phone — it’s ‘Hyuck’ in real life.

"Shhh," Donghyuck says. "Can I touch you?"

"Of course," Renjun says. Donghyuck is beautiful. He's so fucking beautiful. Long eyelashes and pink lips and round cheeks and a smile that's so breathtaking Renjun feels like he's been punched in the gut. He can't say anything — he just watches as Donghyuck reaches in to take him out of his jeans, pulling down the waistband of his boxers as he does so and forcing Renjun to shuffle on the bed so Donghyuck can pull them down his thighs.

"Fuck," Donghyuck murmurs. He runs his fingers up the length of Renjun's cock. "It looks so much better in person. Remember all the times I told you I wanted to suck your cock?"

"That was a lot of times. My memory isn't that good," Renjun says.

Donghyuck laughs. "Well, I hope you remember this."

He presses a kiss to the side, gentle as can be. There's obviously an intent to explore, but it's ruined by both of their neediness. It’s ruined by the sparks crackling between them, by the eagerness in Donghyuck’s eyes. He’s shaking as he runs his tongue up the side of Renjun’s cock — trembling with each reverent touch. He takes Renjun into his mouth — hesitant — and Renjun hisses, his head slamming back into the mattress, his entire body arcing towards Donghyuck.

“Uh,” Donghyuck says, pushing a hand against his hip and pulling off him slightly. “Can you not do that.”

“Sorry,” Renjun says with a laugh. Donghyuck’s eyes sparkle with mirth.

“It’s okay.”

He takes him back in again. It’s less hesitant. It’s more eager. It’s Donghyuck moving with purpose — exploring. Flattening his tongue along Renjun’s cock, jerking him off with one hand and spreading his other across his stomach. Bobbing his head. It’s like nothing Renjun has ever experienced — it’s wet and hot and Donghyuck’s mouth makes slick noises as he sucks at him, hollowing his cheeks and trying to take maybe a bit too much in before pulling back.

Renjun feels like a broken record at this point. He’s just in awe. Trying to process everything at once is proving to be almost impossible for his brain. There’s Donghyuck’s presence and Donghyuck’s mouth on his cock — his fingers digging into his skin, how soft his lips are, the noises he’s making. The way he looks — so fucking sinful, a thousand times better than Renjun could have ever imagined.

Renjun's just losing it. It's too much for him to take — so much is happening, everything is moving faster and faster. He's biting his fist and holding back moans and Donghyuck is still working at him. He's jerking him off, he's running his hands across Renjun's thighs, his lips are stretched around his girth and it's all exploding in the back of his throat, this livewire feeling of pleasure, these pulses of heat. It's too much — Renjun is falling. Something twists inside him and he knows he's close, he's so fucking close holy shit.

"Hyuck," he says, voice shaky. He taps the back of Donghyuck's head but he doesn't pull off — he just looks up at Renjun — and it sends a fucking sucker punch to his gut. An explosion of heat, of arousal, of want — of all the things that make Donghyuck shine, of the way Renjun's heart only beats for him. "Oh fuck," Renjun says. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, I'm gonna come Hyuck, please."

It's too late. Donghyuck pulls off him and Renjun loses control. He's powerless to do anything but watch as he shoots his load across Donghyuck's chin — splattering across his lips and his hand as he gasps and whines, his whole body shaking, heat and pleasure flooding through his senses like an unstoppable tide.

"Oh fuck," he says. His voice cracks and he gasps, breathless. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, I'm sorry Hyuck. I'm so sorry."

Donghyuck is frozen. He's frozen staring at Renjun, cum dripping down his chin, his eyes wide until he bursts into laughter and reaches up to wipe everything away with the back of his hand.

"Well,” he says. “I guess that's a testament to how good it was, then?"

When it's Renjun's turn he does one better — or at least he tries too. Donghyuck comes quickly — Renjun barely has him in his mouth before Donghyuck is whimpering and telling him how close he is. This time he doesn't pull off. He does what Donghyuck had done to him, looks him in the eyes and tries to show him how much he loves this. Tries to show him how beautiful his cock is — how beautiful he is. He drinks every last drop of his load — sucking him through it, until the hand fisted in his hair relaxes it's grip and Renjun pulls off with a gasp.

"That tasted fucking weird," he says.

"Tangy? Fruity?"

"You need to drink less coffee."

Donghyuck laughs and pulls him up to kiss him. "Sorry, fox. I'll try better next time, okay?"

"It's fine," Renjun says. He peppers Donghyuck's lips with kisses, wrapping his arms around his neck. The joke on the tip of his tongue leaves him and is replaced with an urge to never let him go. "It's fine," he repeats. "it's fine. You're so good. God, Hyuck. You're so good."

Donghyuck just smiles. He smiles into the kiss and holds Renjun against him and Renjun realises he doesn't have to let him go. Not tonight, not tomorrow. Not for a whole ten days. They’re here with each other and no-one will tear them apart. Donghyuck is warm and soft and his chest falls and rises like bellows of the forge and his fingers tighten in Renjun’s shirt and he can still taste him on his lips and it’s beautiful, it’s so beautiful. More beautiful than the Florida sunset, than the stars pricking in the sky, than the coral reefs and the emerald waters. More beautiful than anything nature could ever create.

Renjun feels it all rush up his throat but he bites down on it, smothering his face in Donghyuck’s neck.

Now is not the time.

The morning finds them tangled in the sheets together, finds Renjun leaning against Donghyuck and kissing him languid and slow — until Donghyuck sheepishly tells him that his breath is bad and maybe they should eat breakfast instead.

It’s past nine and his parents have gone to work and the brilliant Florida sunshine spills through the open blinds. There’s an ibis strutting around his back yard and he watches it dig into the dirt as he pours orange juice into a plastic cup and then hands it to Donghyuck.

“What the fuck is that,” Donghyuck says, taking the cup from him and pointing to the bird.

“Ibis,” Renjun says. “They nest everywhere around here. You can’t get rid of them.”

“It looks like someone drew a heron with the lights off.”

Renjun lets out a snort, pouring a cup for himself and leaving the carton on the bench. “That’s one way to put it.”

“What other fucked up wildlife do you have?”

“Anything that lives by the sea.” He shrugs. “Pelicans? Seagulls?”

“We have those in Vancouver too…”

Renjun hums, leaning into him as they stare out the window. There’s a group of terns circling high above the palm leaves and the sky is cloudless and pristine, sunshine washing everything out in a brilliant light.

Honestly — growing up Renjun had come to hate Key West. Everyone knew everyone and it was stuffed with tourists more often than not and he spent every day of the year sweating his ass off and swatting away the giant bugs that seemed to live in every nook and cranny. To some people it was paradise, but to Renjun it was just home. Moving up to Gainesville for college had been a blessing — an escape from island life.

He finds being back here now it’s not so bad. It’s fresh again — though everyone still recognises him and the weather is still sticky and there’s still tourists spilling out onto the streets and the bugs are definitely not any smaller, he can’t lie and say he hasn't missed the sea. He can’t lie and say he hasn’t missed home — the sunbaked bricks and brightly coloured weatherboards, the easter egg coloured house on the corner and the dinged up four door parked outside it. All the bikes sitting on the roadside and the iguanas in the palm trees and the birds screeching overhead and the smell of salt and humidity that permeated everything.

It’s home. His home. And now he gets to show Donghyuck all of this, too.

Renjun makes eggs and they eat at the kitchen table together. Donghyuck is clumsy, and it takes Renjun a minute to realise why.

“You don’t usually use a knife and fork, do you?”

Donghyuck gives him a sheepish smile. “No. I mean, I’ve stayed over at enough white kids’ houses to know how to, but I haven’t eaten an egg with a knife and fork in a while.”

“Do you want chopsticks?”

“I can handle myself,” Donghyuck says, laughing.

They finish up eating and when he's supposed to be washing up instead Renjun pushes him up against the counter and kisses him silly. He tastes the tart orange juice on his lips and fists his hands in the soft fabric of his t-shirt and Donghyuck cups his ass in his hands and gives him a wicked grin when he pulls back to stare at him. The AC hums and the water drips from the faucet and the birds scream and Donghyuck is beautiful — golden sunshine painted across his face, deep brown of his eyes fixed on Renjun. It’s oddly domestic — something entirely new, yet so familiar all the same. Like living someone else’s memory — like they're living the memories of their future selves.

One day he'll get to do this to Donghyuck every day for the rest of his life. God, that's a thought to have. A daydream of a tiny apartment where they always wake up together and their photos are on the walls and all the dinnerware is mismatched because Donghyuck broke half the set that his parents gave them when he moved in and they play their favourite music in the stereo and slow dance in the living room like they're the leads in a romance movie.

He guesses they are, in some way or another. There's a whole life out there for them to live. These are just the first steps. So many firsts — first makeout session against the kitchen counter. First Donghyuck screaming as he clutches Renjun's waist on his scooter while they barely break 15 mph. First Donghyuck making Renjun stop said scooter so he can take a picture of a mural they pass — a seahorse painted on the side of someone's front fence.

They wander through town on foot, Donghyuck peeking into every shop and ooh and aahing over the sea themed finery that decorates the storefronts. He tries on brightly coloured t-shirts and cord bracelets, buys a pair of flip flops since he's apparently never owned a pair (Renjun supposes it makes sense, but it still sounds like sacrilege to him). They eat at a cafe near Mallory Square and Donghyuck feeds him his chips by hand, laughing when Renjun tells him he's embarrassing him.

"But you look so cute when you're embarrassed," he coos. Renjun kicks him under the table.

They buy ice cream from a shop in the square and eat in on the waterfront, shade from the palms doing little to block out the sweltering sun and the beats down around them. The water glistens with a million diamonds and in the harbour one of the snorkeling boats arrives, dropping off a pack of tourists clad in wide brimmed hats and neon coloured sarongs and replacing them with more of their ilk.

"Wanna try mine?" Donghyuck says, holding out his cup to Renjun. When Renjun nods he digs in with the spoon and pokes at his lips, but Renjun refuses to let him embarrass him again.

"I can do it myself," he says, grabbing Donghyuck's wrist and prying the cup from him to take a long lick of his passionfruit sorbet.

"I like feeding you things though. Remember all the times you watched me eat dinner? I wish I could have fed you then. I'm making up for it."

"You're gross," Renjun says. He takes a bite of his ice cream, then has a better idea — he swirls his tongue around it, licking as lavishly as he possibly can while keeping eye contact with Donghyuck, who stutters and looks away, taking a sudden interest in the contents of the storefront beside him. The water slaps against the foundations of the docks and the gulls screech and the wind is hot where it blows through the sleeves of his shirt and Renjun laughs, chocolate on his tongue and fondness blooming in his heart.

He kisses him there, just like he kisses him in the beach gardens. He kisses him at the southernmost point of the United States — "Now we really _are_ as far away as possible" — and he kisses him in the cool air conditioning of the museum. They're just pecks on the lips — just an assurance that Donghyuck is still real. But they're kisses shared. They're promises, reminders that they're together. Donghyuck's lips are soft and his skin is warm — his sleeves rolled up to bare his biceps to the world — and Renjun is so utterly his. He would follow him anywhere if he asked — and he does.

By the time they get back home Renjun's mom is home. Donghyuck ends up sitting at the kitchen counter while she talks to him about Vancouver, and Renjun sits beside him, playing footsie and occasionally catching a grin when his mom sees fit to tell another embarrassing childhood story. The one she's telling right now is about him and Jeno coating themselves head to toe in mud — like it's not something every kid has done once or twice.

"Your mom is so nice," Donghyuck says, when they're back up in his room and the door is firmly closed and Renjun is firmly embarrassed.

"You would say that," Renjun says with a roll of his eyes. "You like anyone who takes your side."

"Of course she takes my side. I'm charming. I'm Mark's mom's favourite too. They know how to pick a winner."

"You're only a winner cause you've got me," Renjun says. Donghyuck steps into his space, sliding over from where he'd been staring at Renjun's Pulp Fiction poster.

"I think we're both winners," he says, eyes sparkling. He cups Renjun's jaw and searches him, just for a second, before kissing him.

It gets heavy fast. Renjun almost headbutts him and Donghyuck's fingers grip tight enough to bruise and he pulls him against him, shoving his hand up the front of his shirt to splay it against his stomach.

"God, I've wanted to kiss you all fucking day," Donghyuck says. It's almost a growl, said into the skin of his neck while he kisses every part of Renjun he can reach.

"You have no idea," Renjun says, gasping as Donghyuck licks up his neck. "I can't stop thinking about you, Hyuck. Can't stop thinking about your cock."

"You got a taste for it?"

"Shut the fuck up," Renjun says. He laughs, then whines as Donghyuck's fingers find his nipple, rubbing against it as he kisses along his jawline.

"Why did we even leave the house? I just want to kiss you forever and ever."

"You're the one who wanted to leave." Renjun bucks against him, one hand worming it's way under his waistband and sitting on the curve of his ass, the other on the back of his neck. He digs his fingers into his muscles and forces Donghyuck to readjust, his fingers scrabbling at him until he just gives up and forces Renjun to take off his shirt.

"It was a mistake," Donghyuck says. His eyes rake Renjun's body and he dips his fingers into the hollow of his collarbone. "God, you're so fucking beautiful Renjun."

It's his name in Donghyuck's mouth — his real name. It sounds so sweet, and Renjun tugs at his shirt, forcing him to pull it over his head and spread his hands across his chest. The sensation of skin on skin is like sparks and Renjun tugs him back into his orbit, biting at his bottom lip and deepening it into a kiss. It's desperate and harsh, fire on fire, the two of them burning up with want. Renjun pushes Donghyuck down onto his bed and climbs on top of him and Donghyuck stares up at him, eyes wild, madcap grin stretching across his face.

"What?" Renjun asks. He's bracketing his face with his hands, hovering over him, wanting so desperately just to drop down and grind against him — to rut against him like a madman and kiss him until he's stolen all the breath from his lungs.

"Nothing," Donghyuck says, but he's still grinning. "I just can't believe I'm not dreaming."

"You're not," Renjun says. He drops a kiss to the tip of his nose and Donghyuck laughs. "I promise you, you're not."

"I know," Donghyuck says. "You're just. You're unreal, fox. You're so unreal." He runs his hand down Renjun's side, then back up, walking his fingers across the planes of his back. "I can't believe I can touch you."

"You can do more than touch me."

Donghyuck hisses, tugging down Renjun into a kiss and rolling his hips against him. "I know," he growls. "Fuck. Renjun."

"Yes?" Renjun asks, but it's swallowed. Donghyuck's tongue presses against his and his grip on his scalp is edging on painful and he opens his legs wider and Renjun can feel his dick pushing against him and there's suddenly so much happening that he's overwhelmed. He's drowning in him, in the warmth of his skin, in his mouth against his, the way he licks at Renjun, the way his fingers dig into his spine.

"Renjun, I..." Donghyuck starts. He lets out a long groan, his hips bucking up. Renjun kisses him to swallow the rest of the noise.

"Shhh." They're on the second floor, as far away from the lounge as possible, but he really doesn't want to risk his mother hearing the sound of her son making out with his boyfriend.

Or more. Or whatever is about to happen.

Renjun's heartbeat kicks into overdrive and he pulls back, staring at Donghyuck's eyes. Searching him.

Everything seems to pause. It's just them in this bubble, just them in this world together. Renjun thinks that if Donghyuck asked he would stay here forever — shit, if Donghyuck asked anything he'd do it. Touch the heavens, pick the stars and hand them to him. Walk a thousand miles just to see him again. He'd do it.

"What do you want to do?" Donghyuck says. It's like he's dipping his toes in the water to check the temperature. Renjun swallows hard and reaches up to brush a stray strand of Donghyuck's hair

God, he's insane. He's warm and dotted with moles like constellations and his hair fans out behind him in a halo and he's looking at Renjun like he's the only light in the universe. Like a sunflower facing the sun.

It takes everything in Renjun not to cower.

"I love you," he says. Donghyuck smiles — heart shaped lips and sparkles in his eyes.

"I know. I love you too." He runs his hand down Renjun's spine, stopping at the small of his back and resting his fingers there.

"What do you want to do?" Renjun asks. He knows it's on the tip of his tongue, and yet he has to make sure. He has to know. Outside the window the sun is low in the sky and the palm leaves are still and there's another group of birds singing across the road — or maybe perched on the bleached fence, twittering to each other and dancing. A car rolls past and music leaks from the window, tinny warbles of tropical pop that all add up to the perfect backdrop for what Donghyuck says — to the way he asks it of him.

"I want you to fuck me."

Renjun's next breath is sharp, drawn through his teeth in a hiss. His stomach drops out of his body and his heart sounds like the hoofbeat of a thousand horses running from the thunderstorm — sprinting across the plains to shelter. Except his shelter is here — it's Donghyuck. He'll shield him — be his storm and his protection.

"Okay," Renjun says. He falls into the kiss — flattens himself against Donghyuck, steals the warmth from his bones and the words from his mouth, fists his hands in his hair and melts into him. He kisses him with all the fury he has, with all the love and passion, with the lust that simmers inside him, years and years poured into one gesture. All the late nights crying into his sheets and wishing Donghyuck was here, all the impossible feelings of wanting to reach out and touch him. All the little moments where he wished he could run to him, all the jealousy he'd felt at his friends. How Jeno could walk three minutes to be at Jaemin's house — how Renjun had gone to senior prom with _Chenle_ instead of Donghyuck (and how Chenle sat on the bleachers with him and held his hands and told him one day it'll happen). He pours it all into his kisses — and then more. He's shaking, trembling, he's holding Donghyuck's face and trying to memorise him. "Okay," he repeats. "Okay, fuck. Yes, Donghyuck."

It's two people who don't want to go slow going slow. Undressing with shaking hands. Donghyuck running his hands over the inside of Renjun's thighs, pulling him up his body so he can kiss him. The two of them rolling around in the sheets, tangled up and laughing. Kisses pressed against skin, in the crooks of each other's elbows, against Renjun's heart where it slams in his ribcage, against Donghyuck's pulse point, on the scar on his hip where he'd had his appendix taken out. At some point Renjun stumbles out of bed to put music on — at least some kind of attempt to cover up the noise. He stands naked in front of his computer and Donghyuck winds his arms around his waist and kisses his neck, whining every time he picks a song until Renjun tells him to pick it himself.

"I can't believe you put sad gay music on," Renjun mumbles as they fall back into bed, Troye Sivan singing from his speakers.

"We're both sad and gay, what did you expect?"

Renjun laughs. "I'm not sad right now." He bites at Donghyuck's neck — just a light nip — and Donghyuck groans, fingers digging into his bicep.

"That's true."

Renjun trails his fingers down his body, like he's exploring again. He is, he supposes. There's light here now — they're not in the inky darkness of his room at near midnight, it's evening light and the sun is still bright and Donghyuck looks beautiful — all hazy and golden, like he was born to be here. Born to be in the sunlight, born to be in Renjun's bed.

He presses his fingers into his ribs, into his side, into his waist. God, the curve of Donghyuck's waist is like it was made for Renjun's hands, fitting him so perfectly as he holds him in his lap. He presses a kiss to the underside of Donghyuck's jaw and presses his thumb against his hip bone, revelling in the way Donghyuck hisses on top of him.

It's hard for him to wait. He wants to take everything but he wants to savour it, he wants to know every part of Donghyuck but he wants him so badly. They have so little time and yet it feels like they have forever — like this life is not enough.

His hand trails across Donghyuck's thigh, palm flattening against the muscle and kneading into it, before he reaches down and wraps his hand around Donghyuck's cock. It's hot and heavy in his hand and just the mere act of touching him — not even moving — is enough to cause Donghyuck to shake on top of him. His nails dig into Renjun's shoulders and Renjun uses his other hand to stabilise him, pulling his face down for a kiss that deepens as he begins to jerk at Donghyuck.

"Renjun, please," Donghyuck says, words wet against his mouth. His voice is breathy and wrecked and they've barely done anything. They've barely done anything and, god, how is Donghyuck going to sound later on? What kind of noise will he make with Renjun's fingers inside of him — with Renjun's _cock_ inside of him? Renjun wants to know — all the whines, all the moans, all the gasps and noises. He's heard him beg before — of course — watching Donghyuck jerk himself off through his phone screen. But here he can reach out and touch him — feel the way his lip quivers as he asks for Renjun. See the shudders in his body, feel the heat of his skin beneath his fingertips. The slide of his cock in Renjun's hand, the way his hips angle towards him.

"Okay," Renjun says. He's shaking too, he realises. His hands tremble as he lets go of Donghyuck and helps him up. Donghyuck sits on the side of his bed and he opens up his drawer, rifling past all his junk — museum pamphlets, college info brochures, shells picked up from the seaside and random bits and pieces until he pulls out a bag he'd purchased on campus before he'd come back home.

Objectively there was nothing embarrassing about purchasing condoms on a college campus but Renjun had still been mortified and red cheeked as he'd watched the cashier ring up the purchase of lube, condoms and _ibuprofen_ , as if anti-inflammatories were enough to distract from the other two items in his basket. He'd been even more scared flying back home — like airport security was somehow gonna pull him aside for flying with condoms in his bag.

Now though. He tears one off the strip and puts it on the bedside table, then comes back to bed, bottle heavy in his hand.

"Alright," he says. He smiles at Donghyuck, who returns it. "I have no idea what I'm doing," Renjun admits.

Donghyuck laughs. "Like I'm a sex whizz. Before yesterday I literally hadn't even kissed anyone, Renjun."

"I know. Just. It's kind of scary?"

"A little bit." Donghyuck takes Renjun's hands in his. The difference is mildly comical — Renjun still isn't over it. He kind of loves it, to be honest. He'd never thought of himself as particularly small, but he's never been this close with someone before. "It'll be okay, though," Donghyuck says. "No matter what it'll be okay."

Renjun nods. "Yeah. I know." He takes a breath and presses a kiss to Donghyuck's lips, deepening it as Donghyuck comes up to cup his jaw. His breath is harsh and his chest heaves and there's heat pooling in his stomach and he's aware of how hard he is — Donghyuck has touched him a few times, but mostly it's just the anticipation. It's just _knowing_ what's going to happen.

They rearrange. Donghyuck on his back, legs spread open, cock leaking against his stomach. Renjun can't help but reach to pump at it a few times, in pure awe of the way Donghyuck reacts to him. The sheer heat of him, the contrast of his fingers against how red his cock is. He reaches down to tease at his hole — his fist still loosely clenched around his cock — and Donghyuck moans, soft and low.

"Please," he says.

"Please what?"

"Please.. just." He shakes his head, hips twitching upwards. "Renjun."

"Okay, okay."

He uncaps the bottle and squirts the lube onto his fingers. God, he still can't get over how much he's shaking. Trembling like a leaf in the wind, anxiety twined with lust — with this unbearable heat — sparking in his gut. He draws his fingers over Donghyuck's hole — slow, experimental — and Donghyuck hisses again, drawing out into a whine as Renjun slips a finger in.

It's weird. Renjun's fingered himself plenty, but it's been at awkward angles, wrists all cramped and bent as he's tried to fit his fingers inside himself. It's been slick and wet but here it's — well, it's Donghyuck. He's kneeling between his legs, one hand braced on his stomach with a finger inside of him, sliding in and out.

"Is that okay?" Renjun asks. "Tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?"

"You're fine," Donghyuck says. "C'mon, you've seen the size of my dildos."

Renjun laughs. "Size queen. Hope I don't disappoint you."

"You won't ever disappoint me," Donghyuck says. It's earnest and honest and so fucking sweet that Renjun feels his cheeks start to burn — he has to duck his face away and hide against the inside of Donghyuck's knee, not wanting him to see just how much he's affecting him.

God, how stupid is this? He has his fucking fingers in Donghyuck's ass and he's still finding himself getting embarrassed over his fucking boyfriend being _cheesy_. Like it isn't in Donghyuck's blood to be the most annoying cheesy motherfucker alive.

"Shut up," Renjun says. He withdraws his hand and squirts more lube on his fingers, slipping a second in alongside the first and working on working Donghyuck open. He's not sure if it's the act itself or his words that get Donghyuck to shut up, but either way he listens. He groans and gasps and opens his legs wider and pushes up into Renjun's hand, leg twitching as Renjun works at him, slow first then speeding up, until there's an audible wet slide with each pump of his fingers inside of him.

God. Renjun is going to fucking lose it. He knows he needs to do this properly or he's going to hurt Donghyuck but god he wants him so badly. He _needs_ to have his cock inside something, needs to fuck right now or he's pretty sure he's going to go insane. "Hyuck," he says, and Donghyuck whines. "I want you. Holy fucking shit, I want you."

"You can go," Donghyuck says. He reaches down and circles his fingers around Renjun's wrist, tugging at him as he fucks up into the circle of his hand. "Please, holy shit. Please Renjun."

Renjun almost falls off the bed in his haste when he pulls his fingers out of Donghyuck. He reaches for the condom and then stops when he sees Donghyuck staring up at him — pure adoration in his eyes. He leans down for what he intends to be a short kiss and Donghyuck just _grabs_ onto him. Hands clawing at his back, their bodies crashing into each other. Renjun falls into him and ruts against him and Donghyuck gasps into his mouth, chanting his name like it's a prayer — like it's the only thing he ever wants to say again.

“God,” he says. “God, fox. Renjun. I can’t believe you’re real. I can’t believe you’re real.”

“I’m here,” Renjun says. He presses a kiss to Donghyuck’s cheek and their noses knock together when Donghyuck turns to face him, drawing a laugh from him. "I'm real."

“Real and almost poking my eye out.”

He digs his fingers into Donghyuck’s bicep and forces him to release him. “That and a bit more.”

The mood shifts again, turning dark and heavy.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says. “Fuck. Yeah. Renjun.”

Renjun nods and draws back, leaning on his haunches and tearing open the condom. “I know. I know, Hyuck. Sunshine, I know.”

He’s kind of losing his mind. His ability to speak is slipping away and Donghyuck looks so beautiful underneath him — all splayed out, hands resting on Renjun’s hips, lips slightly parted and eyes burning with want. That’s his boy — his beautiful boy. All for him and no-one else. Renjun draws a finger down Donghyuck’s face — tracing the curve of his cheek, the bow of his mouth, pressing against his lower lip and watching the way his eyes go unfocused for a second.

“Yeah,” he says, though he doesn’t know what he’s agreeing with. It jolts him out of the haze he’s been slipping into and he falls backwards onto the bed, ending up seated between Donghyuck’s legs again.

Their eyes lock as Renjun tears open the foil, and Renjun would stare at him forever if he didn’t realise partway through that he actually kind of needs to look at his dick right now. Donghyuck laughs when he breaks the eye contact and Renjun just grumbles, fumbling with the condom and trying with all his might to remember his sex ed classes so he can put it on the right way around.

“Is this right?” he asks, holding his dick up and causing Donghyuck to burst out with laughter.

“If it falls off you’re the one fishing it out of my ass.”

“So romantic,” Renjun says, reaching over to squirt more lube onto his cock.

“Isn’t it romantic to laugh?”

There’s something about it that’s so warm. It’s so _Donghyuck_ — the little laugh in his voice, the way he stares at him with shining eyes.

“Yeah,” Renjun says. “Yeah it is.”

Golden hour has descended and everything is bright and warm and the world is on fire and the two of them are here, in Renjun’s childhood bedroom, naked as the day they were born with music tinkling in the background and not a cloud in the sky, standing on the edge of this precipice together. Anything could happen and it would be romantic. Maybe this isn’t what Renjun imagined — there’s no fireworks or orchestral score and he’s laughing because he doesn’t know how to put a condom on properly but it’s something uniquely theirs. It’s something that will always be theirs.

He shuffles up the bed a little more and lifts Donghyuck’s legs up, lining himself up with him. Donghyuck hisses as he draws his fingers over his hole, smearing a little more lube around him and then pushing his cock down to press against him.

“Are you sure about this?” Renjun asks. Donghyuck nods, so rapidly his face blurs a little, and he reaches out to grasp at Renjun’s hand where it’s wrapped around his calf.

“I trust you,” Donghyuck says. He twines their fingers together and takes a shaky breath, nodding again. “C’mon, Renjun. I need you.”

“Okay.”

_Holy shit._

Donghyuck is fucking tight. It takes a considerable amount of force for Renjun to get inside of him — the first time he tries his dick just pops back out and he has go through lining himself up all again, much to Donghyuck’s amusement. But the second time — he _pushes_ in and Donghyuck lets out a muffled moan, clenching around him and tightening his grip on Renjun’s fingers. He’s almost white knuckled and Renjun is suddenly worried.

Had he even fingered him enough? Oh god, what if he was hurting him. What if he was right — were they rushing it? God, he wants Donghyuck so badly — he wants to _move_ and fuck him and feel him around but he doesn’t want to hurt him, and he asks him as much.

“Are you okay?”

“Holy shit,” Donghyuck says. “I’m okay, okay. Give me a minute. Holy fuck Renjun.”

Renjun nods, running his thumb over the back of his hand as Donghyuck trembles beneath him. His leg kicks a little and he leans into it, just holding himself there, clamping down on the need to move while he waits for Donghyuck to adjust.

It’s okay. Donghyuck is so beautiful, eyes screwed shut, mouth falling open, sunset painting him in licks of light that spill through the gaps in the palm leaves. His chest shimmers with sweat and Renjun reaches down and runs his fingers over one of his nipples — dark against his skin — walking them over his moles and trying to remember all the star constellations he’d learned when they’d gone to the observatory in Miami. It’s an exercise in making art of Donghyuck’s skin, but it’s also an exercise in trying to stop himself from coming just from the sensation of being inside Donghyuck — a hope that he can last at least more than a minute.

“Okay,” Donghyuck lets out a long breath. “Okay. Okay. Renjun, please.”

“It’s alright,” Renjun says. “Do you want me to stop?”

“I want you to _fuck me_ ,” Donghyuck says.

It’s like a match — like Renjun is soaked in gasoline and Donghyuck has set him alight. The words explode through him and he gasps, biting off the sound at the last second and nodding frantically. He lifts Donghyuck’s hips a little more and Donghyuck lets out a whine as his cock shifts inside him. He starts to move — watching Donghyuck carefully — and when Donghyuck doesn’t show discomfort he moves quicker.

It’s quicker but everything seems to happen in slow motion. He leans over to kiss Donghyuck and it's long and savoury — his tongue in his mouth, his hands bracketing his face. Donghyuck gasps into it and he's so fucking beautiful — god, he's incredible. Renjun can't believe he's real. He can't believe he's real and breathing the same air as him. The skin beneath him, the body that presses against him. It's happening, it’s all Donghyuck, here in his bed, here with him, shuddering with each slide of Renjun’s cock inside of him. He’s moaning, long gasps of ‘yes’ that become drawn out as his breath peters out.

Renjun is so fucking scared and he has no idea what he's doing but it's alright. It's Donghyuck. Telling him how good he feels. Rolling his body against him. It's awkward and weird in places and Renjun laughs when Donghyuck's leg cramps and Donghyuck laughs when Renjun's voice cracks mid moan but when it comes down to it it's Renjun holding Donghyuck's face in his hands. It's Renjun showering him in kisses. It's Renjun fucking him, the slap of his thighs against Donghyuck's ass, the way Donghyuck's hand feels as he jerks himself off between their bodies, the noise he makes. It's the two of them and this current that runs between them — this spark of electricity, all this fucking love Renjun has been bottling up for three years unleashed in this moment.

It's the two of them here in this bed — together. The Florida sunset turns the sky the colour of melted amber and marshmallows and the birds are screeching outside and the box spring squeaks and Renjun is in love — he’s soaked in it down to his bones. He's in love with Donghyuck and he's here with Donghyuck, sharing this with him. He's inside of him and he's surrounded by him, flames licking up around him, stardust in his chest, light bleeding through his bones.

"I love you," Donghyuck says, arching into him. His hand moves between them and he's falling away, nails digging into Renjun's back, hips working against him, clenching down around him as he moans with each thrust of Renjun's cock inside of him.

"I know," Renjun says. "I know. I know. I love you so much. I love you so much. You're so good Hyuck. You feel so good, you're so good to me."

Donghyuck matches him, falling into rhythm with him briefly before his hips stutter and he whines again. "’m so close, Renjun.”

“It’s okay,” Renjun says. He’s close too. Insanely close, like the tide is going out forever and ever, building up to a tsunami ready to swallow him whole. Donghyuck is hot all around him and he’s falling to pieces, unable to hold it together anymore. It’s like Donghyuck’s words are permission — permission for Renjun to just lose himself. He kisses him then and there with no attempt at finesse, just a rawness. Just the keen edge that’s worked its way under his skin, just what he hopes is the best. Donghyuck clenches around him and Renjun just _loses_ it. He’s not even sure the noise he makes his human — though he’s not really even sure if he’s aware he’s making it, he just feels everything slam into him at once. He feels it in his _skull_ , in his bones, in his teeth and in his veins, exploding out from inside him as his hips stutter inside Donghyuck and he comes, clutching him like he’s a lifeline in a storm, saying his name like it’s the only word he’s ever known.

The comedown is like stepping out of a blinding light. There’s a dull roar in his ears and his entire body feels exhausted and when he slips out of him Donghyuck lets out a long groan, limbs splaying across the sheets.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck says, drawing out the word and waving his hand around. There’s cum pooled on his chest and Renjun realises he must have come while Renjun had his head in the clouds — that somehow he’d missed it.

He smiles sheepishly. “Fuck?”

“Fuck, that was a lot.”

He feels like he’s just run around the entire island. He’s exhausted and sweating in places he didn’t know he could sweat and the hilarious thing is he thinks he could do it again — if Donghyuck told him right now to fuck him again Renjun would probably say yes.

God. Holy shit. He’d just fucked Donghyuck. He pulls the condom off and ties it and throws it in the trash and collapses on the mattress beside him, limbs going everywhere, breath ragged. “Yeah, okay. Fuck. I agree.”

“Glad to hear it,” Donghyuck says. He runs his hand through Renjun’s hair and Renjun groans again.

“Okay?” He asks. Donghyuck laughs.

“Okay. Yeah. Holy fuck, Renjun.”

The English language seems to have escaped both of them and Renjun honestly doesn’t blame him. His brain is like jell-o, wobbling every time he moves, threatening to spill out of his ears and smash all over the bed. All those promises he’d made with Donghyuck fulfilled, and it had been sweeter than he could have ever imagined.

And the best part, of course, is that he gets to do it all over again.

They fuck again that night, after the sky has turned dark and all the crickets are buzzing in the grass. It’s slow and languid this time, like all the desperation has been wicked off, and Renjun savours it. All the little noises he can pull from Donghyuck’s body, the way he responds to him. How big his hands are on his waist, how he can barely cover the length of him with his body. The broad sweep of his shoulders, the way his cock feels in his hand. How beautiful it is to have this boy who he loves with all his heart fall apart in his hand — how beautiful it is to put him back together.

Donghyuck limps down to the kitchen the next day and Renjun would laugh at him if he didn’t feel the same way. His thighs are on _fire_ — and how is that even fair? He’s not the one who’d had a dick in his ass. Donghyuck just gives him a look when he stumbles over to the fridge to make a smoothie — eyebrows raised, smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Shut up,” Renjun says.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“But you’re thinking it.”

“But I didn’t _say_ anything.”

“How’s your ass,” Renjun says, pulling out a tub of yogurt from the fridge and some frozen mango cubes from the freezer and shoving them in his mom’s bullet blender.

“Sore. How’s your legs?”

“I didn’t even know I had muscles there,” Renjun whines.

“Sorry fox,” Donghyuck says, laughing. “Tit for tat. We’re both suffering.”

“No-one told me I’d get an after-sex hangover.”

“You need to exercise more.”

“I exercise all the time!”

It’s not true — not anymore. When he lived in Key West and had to bike everywhere he was fit, but moving to Gainesville had meant he’d gotten lazy. Taking the bus had seemed much more favourable to biking around in the Florida heat — even if it wasn’t quite as hot up north the bad habit was hard to break. His bike had gotten dusty from sitting in the corner of his room for almost a year, and he’d regretted bringing it up with him.

Donghyuck scoffs. “Your inability to walk in a straight line says different.”

“Fuck you,” Renjun says. “I’ll drink your smoothie.”

“You wouldn’t dare. I think you wanted my cum not to taste like battery acid.”

“It doesn’t taste like battery acid,” Renjun says, pouring half the contents of the bullet into a tall glass and handing it to Donghyuck. “It just tastes.. weird.”

Bitter. It had been bitter — slightly unpleasant, but not bad enough that Renjun wouldn’t swallow Donghyuck’s cum again if it came down to it. Being able to literally _feel_ him come in his mouth was something special — worth the tradeoff for sure.

They forgo going out in favour of staying in (mostly to save Renjun’s weak body), but it ends up with them in bed anyway. Donghyuck doesn’t need to muffle himself anymore and he lets loose, moaning with every thrust of Renjun’s cock inside of him, hissing and grasping and clawing at the sheets — begging Renjun for more, faster, faster, c’mon, is that really all he can give?

“Shut the fuck _up,_ ” Renjun says, and Donghyuck laughs, madness on his tongue.

Maybe it’s all a ruse. A tease to get Renjun to do exactly what he wants. But he wants Donghyuck to remember him, he wants him to feel it. He’s addicted to Donghyuck — god. His imagination couldn’t conjure something like this.The way it feels to have Donghyuck in his bed — to be inside of him, to feel his skin against his and his body respond to his every move. It’s beautiful and sweet and it makes Renjun feel alive, it makes him never want to leave this room. He wants to hold Donghyuck like this forever — in the morning light, in the sunset blaze, in the hurricane winds until the world falls apart around them.

He’s beautiful in the sunlight and beautiful in the gloom, beautiful lying on the sofa amongst his mom’s handmade cushions, beautiful sitting in the loungers on the terracotta tiles in their backyard, sipping a cocktail and laughing when Renjun tells bad jokes. He’s beautiful when they go out for dinner with his parents — the lights dance in his eyes and he insists on feeding Renjun off his fork, slices of fish and salad smeared with dressing. Renjun accepts, squeezing his knee tight until Donghyuck squeals and squirms away from him.

They stand on the harbour’s edge, tropical night air swelling around them, sweaty palm in sweaty palm, and Renjun thinks he could be like this forever.

He knows he could be.

He doesn’t want this to end.

It hits him like a typhoon, his throat closing up and tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. It’s not enough time — they’ve barely even started. He only has a week left with Donghyuck and he wants more. He can’t go back to being apart from him — to only seeing him through his screen, to only hearing his disembodied voice and wishing he could touch him. He can’t go back to not having him in his bed, to being able to kiss him whenever he wants. It doesn’t seem fair that the universe can give him something this beautiful and snatch it away from him in turn.

“Renjun,” Donghyuck says. His voice is soft and when Renjun turns to him there’s a shadow cutting across his face, the shop awning slicing through the glow from the streetlamps. The sun is fading from the sky, a few licks of orange left crashing into the ocean, and it’s like the world is burning up. It’s like Renjun can’t hold himself together.

“I don’t want this to end,” Renjun says. Donghyuck’s smile is forlorn — something of understanding. Something that crosses his gaze like raindrops on a sunny afternoon — and — Renjun loses it. Renjun presses his face into Donghyuck’s shirt and breathes him in and starts to sob. He shakes with it and Donghyuck holds him against him and he sobs and sobs, until he feels like there’s nothing left, until he’s not sure if the salt on his tongue is from the salted caramel praline he’d had from desert or the ocean lapping at the pillars of the waterfront or from his tears, soaking in Donghyuck’s shirt and washing his smell away.

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says. “It’s okay, we still have time. I’ll be back, Renjun. I’ll be back soon.”

“It shouldn’t have to be soon,” Renjun says. “It’s unfair. Why does it have to be soon? Why does it have to be anything, why can’t it just be forever.”

“It’s okay,” he repeats. “Shh, shh. It’s okay, fox. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Just remember it won’t be soon for long. One day you’ll get to wake up to me every day.”

“I know,” Renjun says. He curls his hands into Donghyuck’s shirt and sniffles, listening to the sound of his heartbeat beneath his ear. Around them people are talking and laughing — there’s the clatter of cutlery on plates, the tinkle of toasts being made and wine bottles being uncorked, the soft breaking of the waves against the foundations of the harbour. They don’t have to worry about this. They don’t have to worry about the person they love most in the world going away. “I just wish it was now.”

“Me too,” Donghyuck says. He sways with him, rocking him like he’s a child in a cradle. “Me too, Renjun. Me too.”

It all passes by in a blink of the eye. They spend the days in the sunshine — sand caught between their toes, ducking into the air conditioned stores to let the sweat cool on their backs — and their nights together, whether it be in Renjun’s bed or wandering down Duval Street together or sitting on the harbour edge and watching the thunderstorms cast lightning into the ocean. They go snorkeling and Donghyuck talks Renjun’s ear off about everything from the kaleidoscope coloured fish to the colour of the water (it’s a common theme — the sheer disbelief at just how emerald the sea is). Donghyuck spends the better part of the afternoon in The Hemingway Museum and Renjun is just grateful to see the cats again, crouching down in the shade and calling them over him to him and regretting once again the fact that he simply doesn’t have enough hands to pat all the heads that trot up to him with trilling meows and swishing tails.

“They have _thumbs_!” Donghyuck exclaims, calling over the longhair currently occupied with Renjun and cooing at it in a baby voice as he scratches behind its ears.

“They’re polydactyl cats.”

“I know. The tour guide said they were. But they’re so cute. _You’re so cute, aren’t you_?” He looks up at Renjun and smiles. “Can we get one?”

Renjun laughs. “You’re very hard to say no to.”

Donghyuck bats his eyelashes and gives him his patented smile. “I know. And I’ll abuse it as long as it keeps working on you.”

“Shut up,” Renjun says. He cups Donghyuck’s jaw and presses a quick kiss to his lips. “Just shut up, smug bastard.”

Donghyuck’s still smiling, trending more towards a smirk as he leans in for another kiss. “Make me,” he says. The cat between their feet meows, and Donghyuck laughs. “Someone doesn’t like not being the centre of attention.”

“You two would get along,” Renjun says. Donghyuck just pokes his tongue out and goes on trying to steal the attention of every other cat Renjun has collected.

It’s not a pretty goodbye. It’s not a disaster either, but it’s not pretty. Renjun cries so hard he’s pretty sure he’s going to be dehydrated and Donghyuck isn’t much better. He’s an ugly crier, and somehow it endears him to Renjun even more. It’s like every single thing he does is endearing but somehow Donghyuck — red eyed with tears streaming down his face, refusing to let go of Renjun even though he’s going to fucking _miss his flight_ if he doesn’t go now — somehow it’s still beautiful.

“I’ll see you again soon,” Renjun says. “Okay? Text me when you get to Atlanta.”

“I will. I promise you.”

“I know you will. I just…” he trails off. What’s he supposed to say? Donghyuck’s suitcase has doubled in weight and he’s already far more tan than when he’d arrived and he’s wearing jeans and a shirt that says ‘Left my heart in Key West, FL.’ and his hair smells like the sea and Renjun’s bed smells like Donghyuck and there’s so much of him left behind that Renjun knows he’s not really leaving him — not properly anyway. It’s only for a few months. Until winter break — until Renjun gets to go freeze his ass off in the Canadian winter. Until whatever comes after that, until they fight their way through three thousand miles of distance and beat all the odds.

He knows he’ll make it. This is just the start. Just like that first Skype call, like that first game of League together — just like all the other firsts they’ve had between now and then. There’ll be a first time meeting Donghyuck’s parents and a first time meeting his friends and a first holiday out of their hometowns and a first apartment together and there’ll be a last too. A last goodbye. No more airports, unless Renjun is there with him. No more distance — forever.

It’s something to look forward to.

“You just?” Donghyuck says.

“I just love you.”

Donghyuck nods. He sniffs. There’s still tears pouring down his face and his kiss is salty. “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be 3k words. the renhyuck soulmate agenda is too strong.
> 
> you can find me here on [twitter ](https://twitter.com/dongrenle)and here on[cc.](https://curiouscat.me/goldhorn) <3


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